I am a survivor of rape. It has been five years too long since my attack and I’m starting to open about my story. When I was sixteen, I was at a house party, and I unfortunately attracted the attention of a mutual acquaintance. I’ve seen him around school often so he wasn’t totally unfamiliar, and I really didn’t know much about him. To me he was the type to have a different girl everyday. While talking to a friend he came over and jumped in the conversation. We started to talk about our likes, dislikes, and what we do outside of school. I had to go to the bathroom really bad but I couldn’t get him to stop talking. Every time I would try and walk away he would follow and keep talking. So he finally became thirsty and that was my chance to make it to the upstairs bathroom where there wasn’t that many people waiting. My mother always told me to be aware of my surroundings and I wish this would have “pressed play” in my head. I was blind to the fact that this guy was following me up the stairs and to the bathroom. Honestly I didn’t think anyone knew about the upstairs bathroom so I wasn’t expecting anyone to be behind me. I also didn’t think it was a problem not to lock the door. I was wrong in that sense because before I could pull my jeans up to my hips I was grabbed from behind and a hand was tightly placed over my mouth. The next thing I knew I was on my back with my hands held too tight together for me to get away.
Tears fell down my face, while he looked me in my eyes and told me to suck it up and take it like a real woman. No matter how hard I cried, no matter how hard I tried to get away, the was no escaping. He took off my jeans and took away the only thing I treasured more than anything in the world. He slapped me until my face turned red, choked me until I started to gag, and held me down so I wasn’t able to fight and get up. Still crying all I could think in my head was “WHY?” I felt helpless and there was no one there to help me. After he was done he looked me in my eyes and said with a stern voice, “If you tell anyone I will come back to get some more!” As I got up I quickly got dressed and ran home, never looking back. When I got to my house I ran a hot shower and scrubbed for a half hour. I felt dirty, ashamed, and violated. I tried so hard to erase his touch but I couldn’t get rid of it. For three days I sat in my room and cried not coming out unless I had to eat or use the bathroom. I didn’t tell anyone until recently. After about a month and a half I started to get stomach pains, and feel nauseous all the time. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me so I called a friend to take me to the hospital.
